Fall? I like Autumn better

When I am broken, it is then that I am in the presence of the Healer. To live in this simplicity every day is my greatest endeavor. I do not want to withhold anything for myself, for it is not mine. My love is not my own, therefore I CANNOT BE AFRAID of being broken.

But I am.

These days are lonely days, though I do see you all. I am staring weather in the face; it’s been raining for two days and my mood is not having it.

But I am coming to realize things, SO SLOWLY. But the message at church this morning was very poignant. Jacobs ladder. Okay, I have to admit I have, until this morning, always envisioned Jacob’s ladder to be this staircase that angels were walk-dancing up and down, doing a Jerry Lewis to some big band jazzy tune. Praising God through the dance, man.

But this morning the guy pointed out that this place was a portal of heaven- where angels were ascending and descending to do the bidding of the LORD; the base being on the earth, and the top at the throne of God. Jacob recognized this, and was fearful. With other good things this guys went on to show Jesus as this portal- when Jesus is talking to Nathanial in the book of John and says “you will see angels ascending and descending on the son of man”- making himself the base of this ladder; as well as the portal. On the cross Jesus was hanging in the space between heaven and the earth, and the curtain tore in the temple upon his passing. This then passes the ladder-ship unto us, my friends. All those who have been seized by Jesus’ search and rescue, those who commit to emulating him in every way possible- are made to be like him. And that makes us his kingdom and his body continuing on this earth. Then this guy ends with a short description of Christianity: Had an encounter. Be an encounter.

I want that.

I missed the nineteenth this year. I never do that.

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Yet I have a hard time remembering all the things I should remember
And a hard time forgetting all the things that I was supposed to forget.
And, Christ, when You're ready to come back,
Then I think I'm ready for You to come back;
But if You want to stay wherever exactly it is You are,
That's okay, too...it's really none of my business.

And if I didn't have You as my guide, I'd still wander lost in Sinai
Or down by the tracks watching trains go by
To remind me: there are places that aren't here.