Why is there that little irk inside me that makes me feel like a pile of poo.
that I'm missing out on the college biz,
I don't have enough friends, the right friends-
I'm not who I should be, there's so many things
missing, missed out on,
forgotten, damaged, distant,
I'm not creative enough, smart enough,
clever enough,
I don't get out there
enough,
I'm not comfortable alone.
that I should be doing something else, somewhere else--
digging in more, waiting more,
reading more, studying MORE, BEING MORE.
and time is wasting, I'm sitting so still and crying often,
looking through the screens around this place
and wondering if everything is really illuminated and
framed by little black squares.
why are you there, little irk?
you smell so sick, so much of uncomfortable and of puking.
and there was evening and morning.
1 comment:
Yikes.
This little irk causes quite a bit of turmoil, and yeah, I feel it. Man.
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to hack this either. I feel like I'm doing the right things... sometimes. It's never enough though. Things are always slipping through the cracks. I'm never getting everything. I'm forgetting to plan this, go to that, study for EVERY test. Get the right job. Juggle everything.
Apparently somewhere there's someone that gets all of this right that we're all supposed to be modeling our lives on?
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