this morning I delighted myself by sitting in the first booth in the prancing pony- in the light that was pooling onto the table, and reminiscing in such sentimentality for those mornings, days, afternoons, evenings of studying in there for Hebrew, listening to chatterings about Romans and Galatians, some silly group of sophomores playing Justin Timberlake in the next booth, many wrapped muffins, the dark wood, the tiny flashcards.
I miss it all. The silly group of sophomores thing actually did happen today, so I had something real to work with...
And then lo and behold, Shlomes himself pops around the corner, awaking in me the realization that I forgot the vegan cookies I was going to bring to him this morning before his test and flight. woops. But there he was, which made the small fantasy world more real, though we were missing some real treasured people to make the moment complete. One of those things being... time.
...Oh well, right? I'm not so sure I'm okay with all of this slipping away so fast.
I miss so many things. This weather has me caught by the throat I feel, I can't let it go because it has me against my will. though I do relish in the memory moments.
And, I miss so many things. Like, I miss them; I miss the occurrences. I'm too busy sniffling and blinking and counting that I miss things that happen. Maybe it is because of the things that I long for, I don't know.
But I'm thoroughly at the point of loneliness. And on my teabag paper tag yesterday there was a quote from mark twain (I think it was) something along the lines of 'true loneliness is in not being comfortable with yourself.'
and I thought, how poignant.
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