New Year, New Home, New Major, New Classes, New Day.

Year: This year I hope to read more. It snowed last night and today I am snuggled and reading Six Names of Beauty by Sartwell. Luscious stuff.

Home: The home is lovely, warm, clean, full of fabric and candles, and lacking visitation hours. We cook with gas here, which makes everything taste better. I love the girls, and I foresee wonderful times ahead. Jasper the kitty (not really a kitty anymore) is living with us too; giving us a nice dose of male presence all day long (except when he is hiding in the closet). He has recently discovered the shower head and its many dripping wonders.
Last night was a grand housewarming get together. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such excellence.

Major: Yes, again. I'm now Philosophy and Theatre.

Classes: Exciting. Aesthetics, Playwriting, Hebrew II, Justice.

Day: Snow dusting every branch, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Just like people. I need to remember that. I'm not trying to be corny here, much as its not working.
Shlomy is right: let us be fully present every day. I know I will be failing at that a lot. I apologize sincerely to you if you have felt slighted by me in any way, and I am sorry for my selfishness.

In other news, Jasper woke me up this morning purring loudly in my face (very adorable!) because, I assumed, he was hungry. So, I got up and fed him and he was ravenously pushing me out of the way to get to the bowl- he even was licking the knife I used to cut his gelatinous food mass (always delicious) into his bowl. This was about 9am. So, 9:30 Rachel wakes up and says that she had already fed him at 7. Very sneaky. Very sneaky indeed. Now he is lounging under my side table- his new favorite spot when he can't get into the closet.

Thoughts on an Orange.

I

What is it, exactly, that’s like

popping in your mouth a section of orange

and crudely crunching on a seed,

knowing it’s broken into so many pieces-

there’s no way to get them all out.

II

I wonder if performing abdominal surgery

is very much like using the end of my pencil

to tear the papery flesh membrane of

the thinner part of an orange wedge—

still attached to the remaining

half-or-so of round crystalline fruit—

to victoriously poke out a seed.

III

What makes a good orange?

malleable

meaty and crisp

vibrant and cool,

cleansing

clear; not dusty

a few seeds.

In this place, in a colorful armchair hugging my knees, carefully sitting crosslegged.
Perfectly put, with a sweatered, pacing man waiting for a webpage to load or for a phone call.
Many composition notebooks. A muscled leather coat that's been touched by many hands and years secured over the shoulders of the tall chair. He's standing now. Tapping a boot-toe on the ground. Over and over. Backing up, going forward; bending at the knee. Leaning over, pulling on the leather. Tapping heels on the ground, stretching calves.
Ever the pull of the computer screen,
pulling his eyes.

Then, he is gone.


I can't find a good enough video of this song, but go listen to it.
The Commander Thinks Aloud by The Long Winters

Panera coffee is awful.

Ah the rainy Saturday. Lying on a big smooshy bed in my pjs, I'm not going out today.
I finally have a space heater, so I can feel my hands and face.
I'm telling you, musings with turkish coffee and the best sugar cookies no kidding (that is the actual recipe name) are racking up to be quite the frequent pastime these past weeks.

But, I do miss the outward sprawl.

and these people.





once I find my camera, more pictures.

Hello, Advent.

I will be missing my women.










a toast to graduatedness and....
peace - salaam - shalom
finals being almost done
life
success
motivation

the thousandth day ever

It is, it seems: the thousandth day ever. Semesters fly, they stall, they crash. I have no idea what time warp I'm in, but seriously, this must be some serious fun I'm having for things to go by like this.

the Decemberists. My inner radio is on repeat, I'm thinking.

My living room smells like sponges and homemade hot-chocolate (not the best mixture)
the colors seem a little gray except for the pile of presents uniformly covered in red paper with tiny snowmen. They add a nice feel to this place.

back to the days of my favorite words.
placate, fiction, glorious, bountiful
conservation, nativity, allocate
lovely.

Finally

I think we have an apartment. It is a cute, 2 bedroom place with a pretty large living room (bump-out window!) and a sunflower border in the kitchen. Gas stove, so we can cook good things. Laundry right in the kitchen. Hopefully that will be good (loud?). but I think this is good. I hope we hear back before Thursday whether we got it.

I am not prepared for my History final tomorrow, and I'm not sure what it would take for me to feel prepared. I am studying now.

I really like writing plays. I am very much looking forward to playwriting next semester. Perhaps it will help me know if that is a calling of mine.

Sunshine and 50 degrees today.


לחיים ואת אהבת האמת
to life and love and truth

Lullaby

Oh Happy Seven.

42 (Street) = number involved with an awesome play today. awesome.
5.5 = average number of hours I spend sleeping a night
15 = number of books I want to read very, very soon.
0.5 = percentage of said books that I have gotten to.
843098401 = number of things I have to do before Thanksgiving
11 = days until Thanksgiving


Today I met Riley. He is a small doggie with curly white hairs. He loved my long white skirt and wanted to go under it when I was crouching down. He also wanted to kiss me very badly.

Cloud Cult was very very good on Thursday. I am short, so I enjoyed it sitting down or standing on a bench to the side. It was still very very good. Mixed well. The strings blew me away. The cello-violin duet harmonies are absolutely beautiful.

I just had a big bowl of cereal. I like that stuff way too much.


Psalm 94:17

If the LORD had not been my help,
My soul would soon have dwelt in the abode of silence.

If God hadn't been there for me,
I never would have made it.

Suppose the Lord had not helped me.
Then I would soon have been lying quietly in the grave.

Unless the Lord had helped me,
I would soon have settled in the silence of the grave.

Pebble the Vote

rock, stone, pebble, boulder, sand, stalagmite, geode the vote.

Yeah, well. It's a new day, but I'm still sweating like I was yesterday, I still hunger, I still thirst.

I vote to vote every day. Shane Claiborne put it well on Sunday; I'm thankful that I was able to hear that. It gave validation to what I was already thinking: the last chapter in Jesus for President.

I vote every day with my actions and my love. Redemption does not come through the government. I did not really feel strongly 'one way or another about this election; as cooky as that may sound. I did not feel like my vote would be strongly backed by some obligation. So I am a non-vote. I am not unaware or apathetic. It's my choice. Coming out to support the country and to have my voice heard one day every four years is not the way I want to live my walk with Christ. It's more important, and it is more immediate.

Vulnerability of the nations rests in the hands of each other.
Vulnerability is in my hands. And I will do with it what I can. I could not find enough validation to support any candidate for president. I will make my efforts to bolster the Church, and activate deadness in the world around me. There is so much to do. Let's not sit on our asses and wait for the new president to pick us up out of the dirt. This dirt is spiritual, and it is physical. And it is real. Love in amazing ways, and dirt will become less and less heavy and blinding. Perhaps the Church can begin again and draw close to the definition of the Early Church of the Bible; what the Church is meant to be. What is that? What IS that?

------------------------------------------------

I was a pharisee,
I never saw my need for grace.
Then your love came to me
stood next to mine, and I saw that I was poor.

Show me I was poor.
Show us we are,
show us we are.

Glory, glorious.
We are glory, glorious.
Not from what good we have done
but from being the least.

Oh, I don't know how I was made.

My heaven tower sways atop their fleeting praise.
God, I don't know how I was made.

Sleeping at Last.

When the world welcomes us in,
We’re closer to Heaven than we’ll ever know.
They say this place has changed,
But strip away all of the technology
And you will see
That we all are hunters,
Hunting for something that will make us okay.

Here we lay alone in hospital beds,
Tracing life in our heads;
But all that is left
Is that this was our entrance and now it’s our exit,
As we find our way home.

All the blood and all the sweat
That we invested to be loved
Follows us into our end,
Where we begin to understand

That we are made of love,
And all the beauty stemming from it.
We are made of love,
And every fracture caused by the lack of it.

“You were a million years of work,”
Said God and His angels, with needle and thread.
They kissed your head and said,
“You’re a good kid and you make us proud.
So just give your best and the rest will come,
And we’ll see you soon.”

All the blood and all the sweat
That we invested to be loved
Follows us into our end,
Where we begin to understand

That maybe Hollywood was right:
When the credits have rolled and the tears have dried,
The answers that we have been dying to find
Are all pieced together and, somehow,
Made perfectly mine.

We are made of love,
And all the beauty stemming from it.
We are made of love,
And every fracture caused by the lack of love.

-----------

yes, yes.
yes.
undeniably yes.

Just do your best, and the rest will come.

I am disappointed with Copeland's new CD. I will continue to listen to it to give it a full chance to grow on me, but in all it seems to be lacking in innovation.

I love working at Claymore. Steaming milk is so satisfying, especially when I get the real silk microfoam. yeehaw

Today was a beautiful day, as tired as I am. It is not over- I must get some homework completed before sleep tonight.

I had a wonderful conversation with a man today in Boston. He is a wonderful person- growing in faith and fighting his own demons and battles, inside and out. We prayed together and I know God is at work in his life. He is searching for work, but followed to every encounter in his job-search with his record; which is not the best. He regrets so much, and feels alone. But in all things he acknowledged that he is not starving and not freezing. He still is homeless and carries everything he really owns on a 4GB flash drive. He's brilliant; very naturally inclined for learning; languages especially- Hebrew, for one. Computer language, another. But he has been teaching himself pretty much the whole way. There is so much more, much more than I know- but I feel so blessed to have had this conversation today.

I also find it interesting that the majority of homeless people that I have talked to in Boston are not favoring Obama. Interesting? Yes. Perhaps we should consult those who we hope the government will be helping and benefiting before jumping on the bandwagon of whoever seems to be the most liberal and poor-loving. Whatever the hell that means.
I'm babbling, sorry. But I can't help but think about how much the government was never meant to be in control of as much money as it is, or as much as it may be in the very near future. Taking money out of the pockets of people trying to work in this economy will not solve anything. The government is not efficient in handing out money to anyone. There should be more state-control and state-made decisions. Small government to keep the country more democratic. That is the point, people. the founding fathers were using their brains all the way back then. Let's not forget what that means.

Now, I am not trying to sway anyone one way or another, but trying to flush out my own confusion. I am an independent, and I feel it is the only safe way to go. I will NOT be swayed by your labels. But dang, it's hard being in the middle of it all.

there is more on this, but Hebrew is waiting. amongst my other piles of work.


You're a million years of work.