let's go camping.

and wake up and boil water
and make tea.

I'm thinking of being smaller, simpler--
wearing oshkosh overalls!
prancing in circles and making weird sounds!
crumply blonde hair. kissing worms,
running
and not getting tired!

this is what trying to catch up looks like

it looks like
me sitting at my computer, staring at a screen
walking through my dark cluttered room to turn on the lamp since the overhead exploded two weeks ago.
like my electric blue bathrobe.
like toast for every meal.
like quitting one of my jobs because I need a weekend
the gaslight perpetually on
tired droopy eyes
unpaid rent
laughing weirdly

it sounds like
two door cinema club, lets make this happen girl we're gonna show the world that something good can work and it can work for you
my car starting,
my car stopping.
the neighbors yelling at their children, or their dog.

it feels like
the handle of the kitchen faucet breaking off in my hand
a kitchen flash flood. water. everywhere.
that post-show letdown kind of, but confused.
will I ever actually start?

it smells like
wet laundry and cat litter
altoids
old coffee,
my jasmine candle